Introspection in the North End

On my way to Boston, I had heard John Siracusa's asterisked endorsement of Pizzeria Regina in the North End on Reconcilable Differences Episode 247: Milk, Milk, Milk.

With my hostel nearby, it seemed like my destiny to see what the ‘Boston Ceiling’ is all about. I also thought it a good opportunity to test out Rec Diffs’ Floors and Ceilings framework.

A step beyond the classic ‘risk/reward’ calculation, it’s a way to consider all the qualities that inform how good or bad an outcome can end up for a given situation.

Going a step even further, you can compare ceilings and floors between circumstances, consider the incompleteness of the information presented, and ponder how unlikely you are to hit life’s many floors (turns out, most floors are death). It’s an absolute field day for the neuroses!

Unsolicited Pizza Scrutiny

While waiting for my train back home, I picked up a small pie topped with mushrooms, fresh basil, and prosciutto.

Flawed, but still delicious all things considered.

The pie was fundamentally solid. The thin crust made with 00 flour, high heat cooking, and low-density of toppings shows confidence in the basic bread, cheese, and sauce trinity. I tasted discipline in its simplicity. Unfortunately, this is all I have for positives...

The basil looks like it was put on top before baking. Weird choice since this cooks off the fragrant oils and wilts the pretty green leaf.

There was a little less sauce than I would've liked, but this unbalanced ratio at least allowed me to appreciate the cheese and crust with less distraction. An appreciable silver lining.

The glaring flaw to me was the ham. I clearly asked for prosciutto, and was given thick slices of ham! I tried rationalising how this could be thick prosciutto, but it wasn't fatty enough. I could feel distinct muscle fibres as I chewed. This was the place's approximation of prosciutto, meant to satisfy less-discrening tourists.

This was an odd eating experience, and this is before I get to the Comic Sans on the box. Starting with such a good foundation, it’s a wonder that asking for slam-dunk toppings like prosciutto and basil ended up detracting from the experience. Maybe these were too pretentious to ask for in the first place, but then I have to wonder why the menu engages the pretense of offering it in the first place!

Excavating Expectations

My history with pizza is comprised mostly of ‘appropriations’. I think wood-fired Neapolitan-style pizzas are objectively the best version of pizza, with superior tradeoffs compared to even the best New York-style slice.

That said, I'm most nostalgic for Pizza Hut pizza with it’s thick, buttery crust goodness. I’m most acquainted with Domino’s given that it was my family’s takeout steward of choice. I often make my own focaccia pizza these days, drawn in by the filling bread, open crumb, and neat, square slices. I primarily eat Neapolitan-style when the occasion, timing, and location are right. Otherwise, my pizza diet will typically tend towards bastardisation!

This Regina pizza was good enough that I now think less of bread-forward pizzas. These thick crusts and big slices revealed themselves the inelegant gut-bombs they are. Filling bready pizza is just practical for my kitchen, and I like making focaccia. But I'm not under any illusion that it’s the best version of itself.

The botched toppings were a reality check. Prosciutto and fresh basil are high-floor toppings. Perhaps I shouldn’t rely on Boston to deliver on freshness and high quality unless I’m in one of those fancier, gentrified places.

I was absolutely mortified to learn how flawed the ‘Boston Ceiling’ for pizza still is. The pie’s good qualities nonetheless shed light on how low my pizza ceiling really is. While a bit disappointing, I at least know where to improve with both my pizza-making and pizza tasting.

More broadly, it's nice to know that many of life’s high floors are there to catch me. I live near New York City, so it’s comforting that I can get decent pizza when I travel, whether I’ve done my research or not. Watching movies or reading articles on my iPad Pro will always be pleasant at its worst, even when I’m met with iPadOS’s many power-user shortcomings.

Thinking in terms of ceilings and floors is superficially about extrapolating all the possibilities: all the things that can go wrong. But it’s really there to show you the hand your dealt given the information you’re dealt. Once you can see all the outcomes you can, you can achieve the closure that your unknowns are as known as they can be, with the last step being to take your leap of faith. Peace of mind is the endgame. Neuroses is merely the means.

Contentment was achieved despite a balanced cheese to sauce ratio.